STILL NO DIAGNOSIS AFTER COUNTLESS TESTS
Three months later more symptoms, increased pain, no answers. OK no definitive answers. Twelve Drs countless number of tests, thousands of dollars in medical bills. Each Dr I see finds something new and sends me to yet another specialist. Remember the days when one Dr took care of everything? I miss those days!
I have been seeing two primary care Drs a cardiologist (thankfully my heart is fine), pulmonary, GI Dr, an ENT a surgeon and next a neurologist. I have COPD (not sure if I think that’s correct) gall stones,scaring in my nose and ears (most likely from work). While at the ENT he reads my scans and discovers what he thinks may be neurological issues. My sinuses are closed up swelling or scaring,however he won’t attempt fixing that until I see the neurologist!
Easy for them to say but I’ve been off work over three months very little income and bills are piling up. A lot of days I can’t even get out of bed either from pain or extreme dizziness. I just need some relief and it doesn’t feel like that’s ever going to happen.
WHAT ITS LIKE IN MY HEAD EVERYDAY
Every night as I fall asleep I hope and pray to wake up feeling at least a little better. Some days I almost feel normal. Unfortunately those are few and far between. Most days I know as soon as I open my eyes that I’m not making it any farther than from bed to couch. I cry daily. I hurt I ache,can’t concentrate or think clearly. My ears never stop ringing and sometimes it’s so loud I can’t hear. Always lightheaded or dizzy. Every inch of my body just hurts.
I feel like a failure, and I feel useless. I’m sad, mad, confused, overwhelmed and frustrated People depend on me and I can’t be there for them like I should. At the same time knowing this, is what makes me push myself to get out of my bed and at least try to be productive. Otherwise I can tell you I wouldn’t leave my bed.
This has always been my favorite time of the year. The cool crisp air, snow on the ground Christmas a few short weeks away. Not this year, the cold air feels like millions of needles hitting me. It takes my breath away, the snow is beautiful and I can’t touch it. I would never need a coat jacket etc. as I very rarely got cold. Not this year, this year I can’t get warm.
My youngest grandson came to visit today he wanted to have a snowball fight. I tried but just couldn’t take the pain it caused. I’m missing out on the little things. Which in reality turn out to be the important things.
It’s taking a toll on me mentally, emotionally and physically. I don’t want to be the person who never leaves the house or if they do they can’t really enjoy it. I need answers and I need relief. This may sound crazy but I also need rest. Yes I do stay in bed a lot or lay on the couch, but because I’m uncomfortable I never really feel rested. I need uninterrupted pain free sleep!
WHAT AM I DOING DURING THE DOWNTIME?
I have wanted to start blogging for a long time and always put it off because I was busy. In order to try to keep my mind busy I started this blog. I also took the Pinterest Virtual Assistant Course! Which I highly recommend!! I enjoy it and it’s something I can do from the comfort of my bed or couch. It’s bringing in some income and I’m quite sure that I can generate a good income from it, so I just keep emailing potential clients and pin away!!
Along with the course they now have a monthly newsletter to subscribe to. It keeps us up to date on all things Pinterest. Check out the newsletter here. If you want additional info on the course check it out here.
More tests yay me!! I have to have some more blood work and another MRI before I see the neurologist, these are supposed to be scheduled this week. Fingers crossed they get me in to get it done and that this is the last Dr I get sent to and can get answers and relief soon.
I’ve had fibromyalgia for years but this is a whole new type of pain and sickness. The medication I take helps with the fibro, and trust me I still have horrible flair ups but those don’t even compare to this.
Not to mention the weight I’ve gained!!! Steroids on top of being inactive I’ve gained quite a bit which doesn’t help anything. All these reasons I’ve mentioned are why I have to get some answers,some relief or a plan to get me to a point I can function again.
Getting back to work needs to happen soon too!! I have a stack of medical bills piling up on the table. I wish they would pay themselves but let’s face it that just ain’t happening. Say a little prayer for me !!
Have a Blessed Day, Myla
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