THE NEW ROLE OF GRANDPARENTS

The Affects of drug abuse on the family

The world we live in is constantly changing, some good some not. One of those changes is the role grandparents play. You may have noticed a lot of grandparents are taking on the role of the parent. I happen to be one of those grandparents. I am raising my grandson, he just turned 14 and has been with me since he was 5 months old. He’s been a blessing and I am grateful to be part of his life. I won’t go into great detail about why I have him or about his siblings that we don’t have much contact with. In no way is that a complaint they are also loved, cared for and safe. Mental issues and addiction play a role in this. As they do for many others.

                          How it affects the relationship

I decided to write about this because it is so prevalent in today’s society. It’s something you see and hear about more every day. In a lot of cases, addiction is somehow connected. It creates a whole new dynamic to the grandparent role because now I have to be the rule maker and disciplinarian. Schedule Dr appointments, make that 50-mile trip every 6 weeks to the orthodontist. The list goes on, but I’m sure you get the idea. My other grandchildren get the grandma who spoils them, babies them gives them treats mommy says no to. Children raised by grandparents miss out on those special little things.

                        There really are some advantages

There are advantages of this situation because you have already raised at least one child. Chances are you now have a better understanding of how this whole thing works. I know for me it’s been much easier than it was raising my girls. I was a young single mom with 3 girls. Talk about a houseful of craziness.Though I really wouldn’t have wanted in any other way. I have been around the block a time or two now, I’m older and wiser. A little more patient and no longer get upset over the things that really aren’t as important as I had thought. In turn, making it easier to form a  bond with the child/children.

                                  We need to protect the child

My grandchildren are very fortunate to be able to be in good homes where they are loved and cared for. Many children end up in foster care going from home to home or being separated from siblings. As if life for them wasn’t all ready hard enough. Child protective services are overloaded with cases and not enough resources to find homes for these children. Sadly family isn’t always an option. In order to protect innocent lives something needs to change.

Let’s talk about the financial piece

We then also need to think of grandparents who are retired, drawing social security, or living in smaller homes or apartments because their children are grown and on their own. I can tell you from my experience help is not readily available and sure you can take the parents to court for child support but let’s face it that’s a waste of time. The parents most likely don’t have a job and are homeless. I have to say again in my situation I’m fortunate enough to have a good support system through family and friends, It’s not the case for many and is a big part of why some children go into foster care instead of being placed with family members. Foster homes receive assistance and support yet family members are not offered the same benefits and many don’t have the finances to take the children in. A flaw in the system that needs to change!!  The children in this country deserve to be with people who love and care for them. Our government needs to re-evaluate these laws so children can be placed with the family where they are loved and will feel safe.

We can only hope these laws will change or even better, that the epidemic of addiction will subside. A whole new can of worms. I’m not going to get into that in this article but later the topic of affordable rehab centers or existing ones getting extra funding.

Have a blessed day Myla

You can contact me via email myla66@amillionandoneideas.com

 

 

 

 

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10 thoughts on “THE NEW ROLE OF GRANDPARENTS

    1. He has truly been a blessing to me! I have enjoyed watching him grow into a very talented , smart ,respectful young man.
      ( I have been trying to reply for days but couldn’t but it’s working now!!)
      Thank you, Myla

  1. We are also raising a grandson, his mother had him while still in high school and is now attending college. It is challenging in so many ways, but I am kind of sad that I don’t have the same kind of relationship with our other grandchildren. I feel the same way, I am more patient and have a better perspective on child rearing. But we aren’t alone, I’m learning that families come in all shapes and sizes, and the important thing is that these kids are loved. Thanks for your thoughts!

    1. Yes! I agree families do come in all shapes and sizes! I love having him here ,but it is definitely a different relationship than my other grandchildren. I love every one of them none the less.
      Now that I can finally comment! Thank you for reading my post!!!
      Myla

  2. I have so much respect for grandparents who takes care of their grandchildren without asking in return, or volunteer to do it on their own free will much more take the full responsibility as the sole guardian. Thank you for all your hardwork and sacrifices. I am a mom and our world wouldn’t be same without you.

  3. It is so wonderful that you have chosen to be their for your grandson. I’m sure that the benefits far outweigh the challenges. I admire grandparents who step up when needed. May you and your family be blessed!

    1. Thank you so much! Yes he is such a blessing. We keep each other busy. It keeps him out of trouble and keeps me young. (At least I like to think so)
      Thank you, Myla

  4. Thank goodness for the grandparents in the world bc these poor children didn’t ask to be born into it. I am a recovering heroin addict, founder of the sober living blog- Unjunkiefied. I have been clean and sober for several years now but, I do have an 11-year-old born into my addiction. Thank goodness, he is healthy and my screw up didn’t affect is mental or physical health. Yet, he has been with his biological aunt since birth. My parents tried to get custody but at the time, I didn’t get along with them (I had a rough childhood) and I would not consent to sign over my rights to them. It wasn’t happening. But now working in the addiction recovery industry (soon to be a recovery coach) The number of grandparents raising their grandchildren is astronomical. The laws and assistance you all need MUST happen immediately. Again, kudos to you for being a badass G-ma! Much love and thank you

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your story! I will be following your journey. Congratulations on your sobriety!! I fear my daughter will never find sobriety. There are so many grandparents raising grandchildren and the assistance and laws can’t change quick enough. That support is not there for these children. I think it’s wonderful that you are becoming a recovery coach!! I wish you all the best.

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