The world we live in is constantly changing, some good some not. One of those changes is the role grandparents play. You may have noticed a lot of grandparents are taking on the role of the parent. I happen to be one of those grandparents. I am raising my grandson, he just turned 14 and has been with me since he was 5 months old. He’s been a blessing and I am grateful to be part of his life. I won’t go into great detail about why I have him or about his siblings that we don’t have much contact with. In no way is that a complaint they are also loved, cared for and safe. Mental issues and addiction play a role in this. As they do for many others.
How it affects the relationship
I decided to write about this because it is so prevalent in today’s society. It’s something you see and hear about more every day. In a lot of cases, addiction is somehow connected. It creates a whole new dynamic to the grandparent role because now I have to be the rule maker and disciplinarian. Schedule Dr appointments, make that 50-mile trip every 6 weeks to the orthodontist. The list goes on, but I’m sure you get the idea. My other grandchildren get the grandma who spoils them, babies them gives them treats mommy says no to. Children raised by grandparents miss out on those special little things.
There really are some advantages
There are advantages of this situation because you have already raised at least one child. Chances are you now have a better understanding of how this whole thing works. I know for me it’s been much easier than it was raising my girls. I was a young single mom with 3 girls. Talk about a houseful of craziness.Though I really wouldn’t have wanted in any other way. I have been around the block a time or two now, I’m older and wiser. A little more patient and no longer get upset over the things that really aren’t as important as I had thought. In turn, making it easier to form a bond with the child/children.
We need to protect the child
My grandchildren are very fortunate to be able to be in good homes where they are loved and cared for. Many children end up in foster care going from home to home or being separated from siblings. As if life for them wasn’t all ready hard enough. Child protective services are overloaded with cases and not enough resources to find homes for these children. Sadly family isn’t always an option. In order to protect innocent lives something needs to change.
Let’s talk about the financial piece
We then also need to think of grandparents who are retired, drawing social security, or living in smaller homes or apartments because their children are grown and on their own. I can tell you from my experience help is not readily available and sure you can take the parents to court for child support but let’s face it that’s a waste of time. The parents most likely don’t have a job and are homeless. I have to say again in my situation I’m fortunate enough to have a good support system through family and friends, It’s not the case for many and is a big part of why some children go into foster care instead of being placed with family members. Foster homes receive assistance and support yet family members are not offered the same benefits and many don’t have the finances to take the children in. A flaw in the system that needs to change!! The children in this country deserve to be with people who love and care for them. Our government needs to re-evaluate these laws so children can be placed with the family where they are loved and will feel safe.
We can only hope these laws will change or even better, that the epidemic of addiction will subside. A whole new can of worms. I’m not going to get into that in this article but later the topic of affordable rehab centers or existing ones getting extra funding.
Have a blessed day Myla
You can contact me via email firstname.lastname@example.org
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